Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Struggle

I was thinking today about struggling. I struggle internally with everything. I'm not sure it's something that comes across to the people who know me. Out of what I felt was necessity as a youth I taught myself to appear more confident than I am. Inside I can be a whole mess of insecurity.

So I worry... Was moving to the new barn the right choice? Do I spend too much time with the horses and not enough with my family? If I sell December will she hurt someone? Most recently I have been struggling with if I wanted to publish the first story I'd written about my life with horses. So because I'm a worry wort here's my warning....it's a little dark. The good news is it will have a happy ending. I know because I'm am the ending of the tale and that's a very good thing. I sent the story to Janet from Mugwump Chronicles and she gave me her advice. I've decided to post it so we will have that coming up shortly when I finish my last revision.

First though an update on the horses and the new barn.

Sunday morning I got a text message from Sister, "Your horse is going nuts".

Great, I thought and sent a reply "What's he doing?" I already knew she meant Tax.


I'd figured this was going to be an issue. He likes December and has been a little buddy sour. He's very vocal when he's unhappy. "They asked me to put him out in the round pen so they can clean his stall". Oh great, I thought. "I'm on my way out there now."

I grabbed my oldest and youngest boys and loaded everyone up in the car. My middle son, the only one who rides, was going to a birthday party and my husband was going to the sports bar to watch the Steelers game. I had a 1PM appointment to see a horse that I'm considering purchasing so my time was limited.

I got to the barn at 11:30 which gave me one hour to mess around with Tax. Sister pointed down to the round pen. "He's been running around down there, screaming his head off, but he seems to have worn himself out a bit. By the time I got here this morning he'd walked his stall until he was dripping sweat."

"Ok. I'm going to head down and lunge him until he drops dead so maybe the barn owner can get some sleep tonight," I called back.

"One thing before you go, the ground in the indoor arena is awesome but turn him out in there before you ride. Promise was spooky and he's usually not when I'm riding. Tax may booger on you."

I walked down to the round pen. We lunged and worked on transitions and cues. He was pretty good. I think he actually had worn himself out a little. I worked him until he was sweating again and then let him walk until he stopped blowing. After than I grabbed his lead and clipped it on. He was really good about leading and didn't try to crowd me or get tense. I walked him over to the indoor arena and let him go in there. I chased him around a bit and he looked at all the new things (barrells, poles, trail bridge), and snorted and hopped around a bit but nothing too crazy. When he settled down and went around nicely a couple times I let him stop and clipped his lead on again.

Next we went back up to the wash rack to wash off his cuts since he'd rolled in sand in the round pen. I gave him a good long bath and he stood more quietly than I ever remember him being for a bath. I got a chance to scrub him clean and even conditioned his mane and tail. Next he went back into his stall. I realized he hadn't called for December even once after I got there. It was almost like he was comforted by me being there!

Ack...I have more about the horse we looked at and my first rides on each horse at the new barn but I'm out of time for the day! I guess the posts will be prolific this week...

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