Frustration

This is December in early 2009 after I'd gotten her back up to a good weight.  I got her in Sept of 2008 and she was very thin and out of shape.

This is December on Sunday, November 14th.  It makes me want to cry.  I think she looks a little better already then when she first got here.











Last night I dreamed about taking December to one of the shows I've been taking Tax to.  In my dream we completed the most beautiful hunter round in front of the trainer I got her from.  He was actually our judge at the last show.  Everyone congratulated us...everyone wanted her.


But maybe I was wrong about her getting better?  Last night December only ate about 4 quarts of pellets.  She ate her beet pulp and rice bran but I'm worried that's not enough.  She also didn't drink much water.  Hmmm...

I honestly can't figure out if something is going on with this horse or if she just needs food.  I had thought her weight looked a little better but then this morning her ribs felt so prominent.  Sigh and more sigh...

I figure its because I spoke with someone yesterday who is really interested in her.  I figure she just wants to stay in my pasture forever and get fat and happy and not work.

In the cold fog that settled over the pasture this morning she followed me down from the barn to the gate.  Her thin frame was illuminated in the high beams of my SUV which I had parked there to light up the early morning darkness.  As I climbed in the car to head to work she watched me, saying goodbye with her eyes before heading off to graze.

My mom says I always learn things the hard way because I never listen.  I'm sure there is a lesson here.  I know there is a moral to this story.  I'm listening now, and waiting.  I'm just trying to learn one day at a time.